My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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