Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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