god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
