I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
