yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
