I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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