I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
