she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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