Whod you bang
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
