I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize