i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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