question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
