I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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