god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
