Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
