Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Randomize
