I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
