My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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