It's Friday. Sex?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
