giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
