People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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