I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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