2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
