I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
