You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Randomize
