Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
