Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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