I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
