I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
