I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
