Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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