the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
