i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
