my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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