WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
