batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
