I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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