have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
How does it feel to date your dad?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
