Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
