i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
