He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
