walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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