Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize