i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
