I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
