I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
