The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize