So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I don't deserve a penis
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Randomize
