Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
the raccoons are back...
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