Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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