Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize