and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
