Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i drank out of a bidet.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
