I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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