I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
