By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
