haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
