How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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