So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I need to stop coming to work sober
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
