how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
