i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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