How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize